Snowpaw~ Warrior

[ShadowDeeD]

Name: Snowpaw
Age: 9 months
Gender: Tom
Posisiton: Apprentice
Clan: Shadowclan
Description:

Snowpaw,name says it.He has white pelt with few and very small black stripes.His tail isn't really big,it's size is normal and fitting for every cat.His eyes are light blue and he has scar on his left eye.Just an ordinary cat like evreybody else that he knows.

History:

His parents died protecting him.They were both loners and really skilled within the fighting circle.He didn't found much about them two.His father died holding off some cat "clan",they were in small groups,while his mother was searching for a place to hide him.Not much time passed they both were killed.This "clan" didn't managed to find him.It was probably a rampage out of nothing.Later on he was found and raised in a clan so called Shadowclan

Personality:

He is a carefull person that loves to be in company.Maybe hatefull or sad sometimes but not to often.He is a sleepy head,usually sleeps in and misses something important.He doesn't like rude cats and angry ones,But not that much that he avoids them,Just one good,silly and sleepy cat that loves his life no matter what.

Role-Playing Sample:

The wind brushing throught the Snowjaw's pelt felt good while he was watching up to the moon.Just wanting to howl like wolves do but he couldn't.Indeed it was kinda sad to him,but atleast he could see moon.One thing that he liked about moon.

As he liked the moon he also liked the stars.Usually he would just imagine stuff by connecting stars.This night he connected two cats.That releated him to his parents.He smiled up like smiling to them.Indeed it was good night for him."Hello"he mumbled as watching up to "them".It looked like he was speaking to himself.He did that every night,almost every night

He just pushed on and forgot about the past.Althought he did not even know them.Truly it was painfull,sometimes it would make him cry.But that shouldn't make him stop to go on and be like his father and mother.

Anything Else?:

Rules Password:

Colorful

[Seali]

This is my fault for not explaining the names to you, but every apprentice has the suffix 'paw' after their name. When they become warriors it can change to jaw, leaf, fang, etc.

You have a few spelling and grammar mistakes in this bio that need to be fixed. For example, when you said 'inaccompanied,' well, that isn't a word. I think unaccompanied is the word that you're looking for. Or perhaps alone? There are also some incomplete sentences that should be corrected, too.

The rest looks fine, except for one thing- a cat can't be a warrior and a loner at the same time. You could say, 'They were both loners and really skilled hunters,' but warriors are only in clans.

Fix this and you'll be good to go!

[ShadowDeeD]

Oh ok lol...I am lazy I just got up so I dont know if I will fix them or fall a sleep again 1st

EDIT:There I fixed all that I could find...

[Seali]